Wednesday

So today was kind of a hard day. No particular reason.

I noticed it when a woman was holding a really chunky blond baby- maybe 7 months old, and when a co-worker brought in her 10 day old baby. Maybe this sounds weird, but I was kind of afraid to touch the baby. Not because she was too fragile or that she wasn't mine, but because she reminded me of what should happen when you have a baby. I should have carried to term and brought my sons home. One day I will.

My heater broke yesterday...freakin' 53 degrees in my house. Try sleeping in a house that cold. I shouldn't complain- I have a house.

I have had a few suggestions through facebook on ideas for the boys' anniversary. I'd love to hear more.

Heating pads and tissue

So I'm not very good at keeping up on this blog spot. I get distracted way to easy.

I am wondering if I am suffering from stress of depression ...or whatever. I'm not sleeping well, I'm not hungry, nothing sounds good. I don't even want to watch my favorite shows. My muscles are tense...my whole body hurts.

You see, it's almost a year since my sons were born. I have no idea how to handle this. I miss my sons dearly. I want to do something for their birthday, but I'm not sure what to do. Anyone have any ideas?